Our dear friends at Rock Candy Toys were kind enough to send us their gorgeous Refined collection of vibrators, which includes the Dreamland bendable G-spot vibrator, Sweetensity Ultra-Supple Vibrating Wand, and Sugarotic Dual-Stimulation G-Spot / Clit Suction Vibrator.
Rock Candy Toys Refined Collection
Even the packaging for the products in Rock Candy's Refined collection is truly...refined! The packaging is made of thick, soft, matte cardboard with pastel pink and aqua blue hues. This sex toy collection itself is a sophisticated departure from Rock Candy's original product lineup, which featured vibrant, eye-catching packaging and TPR/TPE candy-inspired sex toys like the Gummy Bear bullet vibrator and Lala Pop mini wand vibrator. All of their products are very aligned with the playful spirit of Rock Candy - and I am impressed with their evolution that we see in Refined. Inside the packaging includes a thoughtful instruction card (simple- no excess paper) with straight and to-the-point instructions. While I didn't need to keep it, I hung onto it because it is so descriptive (and cute). The packaging doubles as a storage case for each vibrator with a cut-out insert of the product.
Sugarotic's sleek design is seamless, coated in body-safe silicone with a discreet charging port that connects to the pin-style charging cable when it's time to re-up its battery juice. Visually, the aqua blue color evokes joy and relaxation at the same time, especially combined with the luxurious silicone texture.
The sex toy design features a long, ample-curved G-spot stimulator with three soft textured ridges on the mid-shaft and a semi-bulbous head for targeted G-spot deliciousness. The suction 'mouth' is perfectly rounded and thick - allowing it to nestle in the labia comfortably, and is great for bodies with deeper-set clitorises. (Me.) Right out of the box I had to see if this toy was one of the rare sex toys that comes with a charge right out of the box- and lo and behold, it was. And the vibes were good, just from a quick hand test. The G-spot shaft and clit suction arm are operated by two separate motors, so you can use the toy with one or both motors rumbling at the same time, or alone. I give the vibration strength 10/10 - which feels extra satisfying when considering the thickness and weight of this G-spot sex toy. Despite my excitement (and the existing battery charge), I let the toy charge for about 2 hours because I'll be damned if a sex toy battery starts to drain as my body is on the brink of climax!
Rock Candy Toys Sugarotic Dual-Stimulation Vibrator
When I was ready to give Sugarotic a spin, I grabbed Personal Fav "Whet" Plant-Based lube and applied a few squirts to my nether region, as well as on the vibrator itself. Here comes the plot twist! I had recently been experiencing a bit of pelvic floor discomfort (spasms) and some aching during foreplay for the previous month or so. Hi, perimenopause, is that you? *Sigh.*
This is relevant to this experience because, on any other occasion, my body would have been able to slide the G-spot shaft up, internally, with no issues. However, the head of this G-spotter felt a little too wide at the time (that was a first for me). I switched lubes and reached for Sliquid Sassy, which has a thicker texture than most water-based lubes. The tackiness helped with insertion, as Personal Fav's 'Whet' was actually too ...WHET... and didn't last as long as I needed it to before having to re-apply. To relax my body, I felt like I needed to generate pre-game stimulation prior to insertion, so I used the tip of the head for external stimulation. I tried maneuvering the clit suction mouth onto my clit by turning Sugarotic upside down and sideways, but without the toy being inserted, it just wasn't gonna work.
Fast forward to being prepped, primed and penetrated, the G-spot tip was the perfect size for making sweet, sweet love to my G-spot effortlessly. I liked the subtle ridges on the shaft as well. They were a little treat without being distracting or uncomfortable. Trying to get the clit suction mouth on my clitoris took a bit of maneuvering as well - the G-spot arm needed to be tilted as far back as it could go in order for both stimulators to be placed correctly. This will likely not be the case for all users who try this toy - all bodies are different! Luckily, the shaft is pretty flexible, so bending it back to get to the promised land was easy compared to other dual-stimulation vibrators, which are mostly very rigid. Once in place, I got into the groove of a steady rocking (rock steady? Rock Candy?) rhythm with the G-spot stimulator combined with simultaneous clit suction. The deep, rumbly vibes on the medium setting ultimately allowed me to climax in under 5 minutes. Trifecta! I loved the pressure and strength of the clitoral mouth sucker, and the coverage that the G-spot portion delivered, once it was fully inserted in its right place.
I'm a creature of habit, so I preferred to keep the vibration setting on Medium vs. experimenting with its array of patterns. Ya girl's pussy doesn't need any extra 'Morse Code' settings...give me consistency and I'm happy! And like I said, Medium was perfect - although I am a power queen, and there will be a time and place for the High setting.
Since Sugarotic is equipped with an array of customizable settings and intensities, others will enjoy the ability to sculpt your pleasure journey to perfection.
I love the velvety texture, density, weight, curves, and power of this dual-stimulation vibrator. Not to mention, it has a great price point for an entry-level luxury sex toy at $101. Each toy in Rock Candy's Refined collection is a classic, quintessential sex toy. Between all three of them, I think my Masturbation May (and beyond) is covered.
VERDICT:
Recommend it? Yes!
What happens now: states will individually define their abortion laws.
13 states have abortion laws that were triggered.
There are 36 million pregnant people today.
Half of the states in this country are expected to implement abortion bans.
Same sex marriage and contraception access are also under threat.
If you don't know how to process this decision right now, that is okay.
This is in no way an exhaustive list, but here are some quick ways to help
If you are looking to take quick action to help channel some of this frustration, help, or raise your voice, any small step counts.
TWEET THE GOVERNMENT
Copy + paste template:
Hi @POTUS @KamalaHarris @SpeakerPelosi @SenSchumer, now is the time to ensure that no woman or girl, no matter where she lives, is denied her fundamental sexual and reproductive rights. Will you legislate and defend women’s choices over their bodies and futures? #roevwade
SIGN THIS PETITION
Urge Leaders to Invest in Sexual and Reproductive Health NOW
DONATE TO NONPARTISAN ABORTION ORGS
ABORTION FUNDS
Contributions will be split evenly between Mississippi Reproductive Freedom Fund, DC Abortion Fund, and 90 other groups.
NNAF is a network of approximately 70 organizations that work at the intersections of racial, economic, and reproductive justice to remove financial and logistical barriers to abortion access. These organizations work with clinics to help pay for abortions and assist people having abortions with transportation, childcare, translation, doula services, and lodging. Visit the NNAF website to find out which resources are available in your state and to learn more about how your donation to NNAF will directly support abortion access for people in need.
Your donation will be split between Midwest Access Coalition, Fund Texas Choice, Feminist Women's Health Center, Mississippi Reproductive Freedom Fund, and Michigan Reproductive Freedom for All.
WOMEN'S REPRO RIGHTS ASSISTANCE PROJECT (WRRAP)
Women’s Reproductive Rights Assistance Project (WRRAP) is the largest national, independent, nonprofit abortion fund. We provide urgently-needed financial assistance nationwide to individuals seeking abortion services or emergency contraception.
Instagram
INDIGENOUS WOMEN RISING
Indigenous Women Rising is committed to honoring Native & Indigenous People’s inherent right to equitable and culturally safe health options through accessible health education, resources, and advocacy.
Donate here
NATIONAL ABORTION FEDERATION
The National Abortion Federation functions to unify abortion providers, publishing Clinical Policy Guidelines for Abortion Care and offering a hotline that helps women secure financial assistance and access to clinics.
Named after the pseudonymous plaintiff in Roe v. Wade, Oklahoma’s Roe Fund supports women across the state. Oklahoma is another “trigger state,” which would see abortions banned if Roe is overturned.
The Yellowhammer Fund provides funding for anyone seeking care at one of Alabama’s three independent abortion clinics and, in some cases, for care at Feminist Women’s Health Center in Atlanta and DuPont Clinic in Washington, D.C. We help with other barriers to access (travel, lodging, etc.) as well as able.
Folks needing assistance can call 844-935-5386. A case manager will return your call, as directed, within 12 hours.
>>>>>> ABORTION FUNDS IN EVERY STATE <<<<<<<<
If you’re in Oklahoma, you’ll need to travel out of Oklahoma to get an abortion unless you qualify for an exception. Use this abortion provider search to find an out-of-state provider, and call as soon as possible to schedule an appointment. If you’re having trouble getting an appointment or need other help related to getting an abortion, call the NAF (National Abortion Federation) Hotline at 1-800-772-9100.
ABORTION FINDER
To find a verified abortion provider
Instagram
PLANNED PARENTHOOD
For information on an abortion in your area: call 1-800-230-PLAN
Instagram
PLAN C PILLS
Plan C provides up-to-date information on how people in the U.S. are accessing at-home abortion pill options online. These pills who provide pills for pregnant people who end an early pregnancy, miscarriage management or a mission period.
What is the difference between Plan B and Plan C?
Plan C is an emergency contraceptive pill that works more effectively than Plan B, the most-used emergency contraceptive, because it has different ingredients and allows a longer window of time that it can be effective.
Instagram
REPRO LEGAL HELPLINE
“Mifepristone and Misoprostol—aka abortion pills—are safe, effective, and widely available online for about $150, with broadly accessible financial aid. In fact, you can now order pills to have on hand before you’re even pregnant. Abortion-by-mail can significantly reduce the harm done by anti-choice legislation, but only if people know that this option exists. Please be aware that acquiring and using pills may carry legal risk, especially for marginalized people. That said, we reject the authority of any governing body to determine whether or not we’re allowed to end our own pregnancies, and the widespread availability of abortion pills means that they’ll never be able to stop us.”
I NEED AN A
This site is a simple, easy to use, up-to-date, and localized source of information for people seeking abortions.
ABORTION CARE NETWORK
ACN is the national association for independent, community-based abortion care providers and their allies. Independent clinics provide more than half of all abortions in the United States and the vast majority of care after the first trimester.
The ACN website has a nationwide list of independent abortion clinics as well as information about how to support your local indie providers.
To find local independent clinics near you, visit the ACN website or text “hello” to (202) 883-4620.
ABORTION RESOLUTION WORKBOOK
This free-to-download workbook can guide you through some basic steps to feeling better emotionally and spiritually if you are having a hard time after your abortion experience. It can also give you suggestions about further help. It may also be useful if you just want more resolution about an abortion experience.
This workbook was created by Peg Johnson from Abortion Conversation Projects and Mercedez Sanchez from Cedar River Clinics.
ABORTION ON DEMAND
Physician-supported medication abortion care online. Appointments open Sunday-Friday for 20+ US states. Overnight shipping* and comfort treatment included.
Talk to a doctor here
NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE AND CRISIS CALL CENTER
Call 1-800-273-8255 or text “ANSWER” to 839863
WOMEN ON WEB
You can request abortion pills in advance and take them as soon as you discover you are pregnant Providing access to abortion pills before they are needed overcomes restrictions to abortion care and enables women to access abortions earlier in their pregnancy. When you are ready to use the medicines, please contact us immediately so that we can guide you through the process.
MISCARRIAGE AND ABORTION HOTLINE
This free, confidential hotline is staffed by doctors with years of experience caring for miscarriage and abortion. You can reach them by phone or text and they will give you expert advice on self-managing your miscarriage or abortion. Call or text the hotline at 1-833-246-2632 10am-10pm in all US continental time zones.
WORLD PROFESSIONAL ASSOCIATION FOR TRANSGENDER HEALTH
The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) is a non-profit, interdisciplinary professional and educational organization devoted to transgender health. WPATH works to promote evidence based care, education, research, advocacy, public policy, and respect in transgender health. WPATH provides referrals to healthcare professionals as well as educational resources related to trans healthcare.
Find a provider here
AID ACCESS
Aid Access is an overseas human rights organization which provides telemedicine and mail-order abortion pills.
Online consult here
SASS - SELF MANAGED ABORTION; SAFE AND SUPPORTED
SASS provides information and support to women in the USA around self managed abortion, and helps ensure that self-managed abortions are medically and legally as safe as possible.
HEY JANE
NY, WA: HeyJane is a digital clinic offering virtual consultations with abortion pills delivered directly to your door.
Instagram
PLAN B ONE-STEP PILLS - PREVENTATIVE (No ID or RX required)
Plan B emergency contraception is available at major retailers—no prescription or ID needed—in store, online, and via same day delivery. Plan B can also be found at local health centers and pharmacies. Looking to purchase Plan B to have on hand? Plan B has a shelf‑life of four years.
OTHER WAYS TO HELP:
VOTE REPUBLICANS OUT OF OFFICE
PROTEST
RAGE = A TOOL FOR CHANGE: You have your emotions for a reason. We wouldn't experience rage if we weren't supposed to access it. Move this heavy energy in a productive way in whatever way feels aligned with you- transmute it through physical activity, etc. Dig deep into these emotions. Lean into it. Channel it into a productive state if you are capable.
Please feel free to list additional abortion resources in the comments.
]]>Happy Masturbation May! There are many sexual health-related observances throughout the year, but
Masturbation Month / Day may be one of the most widely known. It all unfolded in 1994 with Dr. Joycelyn Elders, a United Nations Conference, and a sex toy store (though it became official in 1995).
In early December 1994, former Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders sparked public controversy during the United Nations World AIDS Day Conference after mentioning that masturbation be included in education courses.
One speaker directed a remark at Dr. Elders, and wondered "...if masturbation might be taught as a way to prevent AIDS?"
She said: "Masturbation is a part of human sexuality and it's something that perhaps should be taught. But we've not even taught our children the very basics."
One week later, Elders was forced to resign from her position.
As a response, San Francisco-based sex toy boutique Good Vibrations declared May 'Masturbation Month' shortly after, in 1995. Their intentions were to "eliminate stigma and highlight the importance of masturbation for nearly everyone." Thankfully, Masturbation Month has momentum nearly 30 years later.
From 1995-2005, Masturbation Day was observed annually on May 7. Today, Masturbation Day is internationally recognized on May 28!
Why May? According to Good Vibes: "The merry, merry month of May" has long been seen as symbolizing sexual awakening,"
During May, we'll be spotlighting solo play tips, education, recommended products + more. Follow us on Instagram for a few surprises that you'll want to know about (turn on notifications if you're into juicy, pleasure-themed giveaways)!
[Also: save 10% on your order (not applicable to subscription boxes) with code MM22, now through 5/31 at 11:59pm MST.
What would you like to know about the art of self pleasure, or s3x toys for a party of 1? Let us know by leaving a comment below!
COLORADO (March 8, 2022) — The Pleasure Parlor, award-nominated sexual wellness online boutique, subscription box service and sex-ed pop-up shop, has announced the release of its inaugural Power Play Boxed Set in honor of today’s International Women’s Day 2022.
International Women’s Day is observed around the world annually on March 8 to acknowledge the social, economic, and cultural achievements of women from all walks of life.
Products featured in the Special-Edition boxed set include Dame Products’ recently released pH-Balanced Body Wipes; ‘Shroom – a palm-sized rechargeable vibrator by EngErotics; Almost Naked Water-Based Personal Lubricant by Good Clean Love; Wanderlust CBD-Infused Bath Bomb from Privy Peach; and Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good by adrienne maree brown.
Casey Murphy, Owner and Founder of The Pleasure Parlor, shared that the intention behind the first-time Special Edition set is to “pay homage to the femme-led brands in this industry who are ‘walking the walk’ with integrity – each of these entrepreneurs and business leaders are all activists for pleasure in their own right, as illustrated through their personal lived experiences, as well as in the products they create.”
Continuing, Murphy said “50% of our target consumer is shopping on our website for brands like Dame and Good Clean Love – the other half are receiving recurring quarterly subscriptions boxes - or our Zodiac Box - the first bespoke astrological-themed pleasure products box in the industry.”
She went on to say, “it’s evident that these brands consistently resonate with our core customers, and curating a ‘one-stop-shop’ box with some of our most admired femme-led brands fits in seamlessly with our consumers’ interests, and the Pleasure Parlor brand story.”
Key factors for product selection came down to safety, inclusivity, and price. The selections were not solely limited to avenues of physical pleasure. All items are body-safe, with a total price point under $100; tailored for a wide variety of gender expressions and preferences.
“Ultimately, this boxed set was created to not only offer consumers a new way of discovering women-led brands and products, but to embrace the full-spectrum of our erotic and emotional needs by leaning into simple day-to-day pleasures. From a vibrator to a personal wipe you can carry in your bag, to something you can enjoy in the bath, to leisurely reading on the couch. This book in particular is a catalyst for putting pleasure into action to change the world - that is the real power play.”
For general inquiries, please contact hello@thepleasureparlor.com.
###
]]>If you've been anywhere on the Internet (TikTok specifically) since 2021, you've likely seen The Rose suction toy making its rounds - again and again (and again). The Rose air pressure sex toy is not the first of its kind- nor will it be the last. We've seen brand after brand re-create this technology since the Womanizer first hit the market in 2008. This versatility is a good thing, because having a variety of price points, shapes, handles, and pressure/power settings are helpful for accessibility purposes, and individual sensory preferences.
INYA Allure Suction Finger Vibrator
What you haven't seen much of online is the INYA Allure - YET - but give it a few weeks for that to change. This lil' bb just made its debut, and both of us were really stoked to try it! (We had really high hopes, too.)
Keep reading to hear more about our HONEST individual reviews - and find out if it lived up to our expectations.
Javay’s Experience
The Inya Allure Finger Vibe may not have the popularity of The Rose suction toy (or any of its multiple iterations), but it definitely offers pleasure like it. This vibe took me by surprise, though it does have some areas for improvement. The toy has 3 intensity settings and multiple pattern options (for a total of 7 functions). For someone who typically defaults to the more powerful air pressure toys it took me a little longer with the INYA, but I got there and it was good! The combination of the air pressure and the vibration is *chef’s kiss*! I am extremely smitten with the toy because the soft lavender color is BEAUTIFUL and the silicone of it is sooooo smooth. I also love the size of it. I have pretty small hands (especially considering I’m a full-grown woman) and this toy is a perfect size. The finger holder was perfect for giving me more control, especially as my body wriggled around in pleasure. If you are someone who enjoys air pressure toys but doesn’t want too much pressure then you will like the INYA Allure Pulsating Air Finger Vibe.
Casey’s Experience
I believe another brand is planning to launch the same type of finger suction toy, but Allure hit the market first! To my knowledge, this is the only pulsating suction sex toy with the ability to loop around the finger. After years of hoping, I was really stoked to see it join the vast world of sex toys.
Pros:
Cons:
OVERALL GRADE: A
Bottom line: Whether you have 1, 5 or zero air suction sex toys in your toy drawer/closet, the INYA Allure is a must-have.
]]>The sky's the limit when it comes to creativity in the bedroom, or during foreplay. (Which starts before you step foot in the bedroom - but that’s a whole other blog post!) There is no need to bust out a penetrative sex toy, especially if you are just starting to shop for a sex toy with your partner.
It is easy to underestimate the power of ambiance when it comes to setting the scene before you hit the sheets. We hope this curated list of of vibe-setting, sensual pleasure products inspire a little more play into your Valentine’s Day (slash every day).
For one:
Our 2021 Holiday Gift Guide is here, and we've got the perfect sex toy gifts for everyone on your list! From white elephant parties to your mom, our expert-curated sex toy list is eccentric, playful, and equal parts naughty and nice!
1. SEXY SENSORY FOREPLAY SESH
BIJOUX INDISCRETS SLOW SEX NIPPLE PLAY GEL
Often times when we think of "spicing up" our sex lives, we might automatically jump to sex toys. However, foreplay is a great place to start, and a stimulating balm, gel, or oil is the perfect cost-efficient way to dip a toe into the world of pleasure products. We love this Nipple Gel by Bijoux because the roller allows for no mess, and easy clean up. Also, this water-based formula has a cooling effect that gently triggers arousal to anywhere on the body. Just apply to the mouth or nipples, and transfer to tingle to any erogenous zone.
2. A DISCREET, STYLISH PRODUCT FOR PENIS PLEASURE THAT CAN HANG OUT ON THE NIGHTSTAND
TENGA CRYSTA LEAF MASTURBATION STROKER
Less intimidating than a prostate toy yet stylish enough to double as a piece of art, the Tenga Crysta Leaf stroker has a sleek, unique design. it is as impressive on the outside, as it is on the inside, as the 'floating' inner leaves contribute to the wave-like sensations of this textured masturbation sleeve during use. Great for encouraging solo play, or breaking the ice with a first-time sex toy in your relationship. It's so hansome!
3. CROWD PLEASER AT THE WHITE ELEPHANT PARTY
Be the person who brings the sexual gift to the white elephant party. Look out for the person who steals this item...Exposed Booty Tape will expose the anal enthusiasts (holla)!
4. DROPPING HINTS LIKE IT'S HOT
ZEEP! HANDHELD VIBRATING MASSAGER
Let's be honest, there comes the (potentially awkward) time in every relationship when one person is hoping to bring sex toys into the mix. We chose ZEEP for those who may feel apprehensive or hesitant to explore sex toys. The Zeep vibrating massager has a non-intimidating aesthetic, and it can be used anywhere on the body for a massage in the North, or the South! We love Cute Little Fuckers for this - all of their products are intentionally crafted to be gender-friendly for all bodies.
5. PEOPLE WHO LOVE CANNAB1S AND ALSO ANAL PLAY
DOOBIES POT LEAF ANAL PLUG SET
This anal training set is great for all levels of experience - especially beginners! With 3 sizes to choose from, work your way up to the largest plug after getting comfortable with sizes 1 and 2. The flared leaf bases are extra cute, and perfect for your pot-loving partner (or friend).
6. SHOCK VALUE BUT ALSO EXTREMELY HANDY
THE LOVE HAMMA MULTI-PURPOSE THRUSTING VIBRATOR
Crafted and specially designed to nail down some intense orgasms, the Love Hamma has the ability to stimulate multiple erogenous zones in so many different ways. Honestly, we never realized a vibrating hammer could be more multi-purpose as a sex toy than as an actual hammer. It's brilliant, dangit!
The primary reason we are in love with the Love Hamma: it may appear intimidating or gimmicky, but just take a look - it's basically a classic vibrator silhouette with bunny vibe ears at the tip. And. It. Thrusts! If tools your and/or your partner's love language, the Love Hamma is a match made in heaven.
7. SANTA'S LAP OF LUXURY
LE WAND LIMITED-EDITION UNICORN VIBRATING WAND (8-PIECE KIT)
Are we projecting our wish list dreams onto you? Yes. Is this luxury, limited-edition kit worth every damn penny? Also yes! Le Wand has done it again with their exquisite vibrating Unicorn Wand set, which comes complete with the Unicorn massager(one of the strongest wand vibes on the market), stickers, a keychain, a textured G-spot/P-spot attachment, educational pleasure guide, blank notecard, and patch! This is our #1 holiday gift that rules them all.
8. THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING
JUST FOR US QUARTERLY SUBSCRIPTION BOX
Whether you just can't decide where to start, let us do the heavy lifting! Treat your partner (and your relationship to a quarterly subscription to our hand-curated sex toy subscription box. Our bespoke subscriptions are tailored to your preferences - whether you're a well-seasoned sex toy expert, or a beginner looking to try some new things. Cancel anytime - it's worth a spin!
9. THE GATEWAY TO KINK
No whips, paddles, clamps or chaps required! This easy-to-use restraint kit is a one-stop-shop that easily fits under the bed, for a spontaneous night of playful dominance...no hooks or bed posts required. Plus, this kit rolls up easy for travel - a great piece to bust out if you need to take out some family gathering frustrations on your consenting partner! And remember - bondage only Incorporates pain if you're into it! Otherwise, a partner with no access to their hands, legs (or genitals) is extremely sexy for a prolonged teasing sesh.
10. YOUR MOM
Moms need pleasure too! In case this gift needs explaining, The Waterslyde was designed by a mom who decided to create a pleasure product that suited her lifestyle - bathtub sexytime. The Waterslyde easily attaches to any bathtub faucet and delivers outstanding O's with no vibration or penetration whatsoever. Plus, it's great for multi-tasking Moms who get off on banging out multiple tasks (and orgasms) at a time. Clean up and get off!
Stay tuned for the next installment of our 2021 sex toy Gift Guide...12 Days of Foreplay!
]]>
"BuT EvERy DaY iS NaTiOnAl SeX ToY DaY!"
Okay yes - specifically for sex-positive individuals who appreciate the healing, orgasmic, and magical powers of pleasure products. However- for those who don't recognize this annual observance for one reason or another, whether it be shame, guilt, fear of the unknown, lack of proper education or otherwise, National Sex Toy Day can potentially bring the taboo topic of sex toys and pleasure 'out of the closet' and into a larger awareness, worldwide.
(And when we say "conversation", we mean a bunch of posts about it on Instagram.) No matter how this education is relayed, this conversation will always be ongoing, and vital to normalize the concept that masturbation, sex and experiencing pleasure are fundamental pillars of whole-body health and wellness.
The sex toy industry has taken massive leaps in product design, materials, functionality, packaging and innovation since 2010, the year that Dr. Sandor Gardos originally declared today as National Sex Toy Day. Through 2020-2021 alone, we’ve seen sex toy manufacturers think outside of the box in regards to product design. New sex toys hit the market every day, so to compile a list of the best sex toys of 2021 would be a massive undertaking.
Instead, we’ve compiled a list of our favorite sex toys of the moment (and we plan to make this a recurring monthly series)!
***
#1: SNAIL VIBE
Does this product look like some sort of household tool straight out of Fraggle Rock? Yes. Does it do what it advertises? Also yes. (Bless. This is not the case 100% of the time!) This product is a dual stimulation sex toy with a research-backed design that keeps the clitoral/external arm of the vibrator (left side of the product photo) in place on the clitoris at all times during penetration. So, think of using a rabbit-style vibrator - during thrusting, the external ‘arm’ or clitoral stimulator doesn’t usually stay exactly where you want it, and that can be frustrating! Snail Vibe multitasks and achieves this feat without missing a single beat. Plus, its unconventional look is funky yet refreshing - it stands out in a massive sea of dual-stimulation vibrators, most of which look no different than the next. Find more info about the all-new Snail Vibe here!
#2: ZEEP
Cute Little Fuckers has done it again with Zeep, a handheld massager that puts a smile on our face and gooooood vibes everywhere else. Sex toys by Cute Little Fuckers each have their own persona; are beginner-friendly, and designed to deliver pleasure for every body. Zeep’s shape, texture, and size is great for sex toy beginners or for those looking to stimulate every external part of the body. Zeep can deliver smooth sensations, or tickles depending on which side of the silicone sex toy is in contact with the body. We love Zeep because its accessible, easy-to-use shape and design emphasizes creative and playful sexual exploration, first and foremost. ((Yesssss, orgasms, too, because this handheld vibrator is super powerful!) Meet Zeep here!
#3: LOVENSE HYPHY
For power-hungry pleasure seekers, meet Hyphy. The latest sex tech innovation from Lovense is a one-stop-shop in regards to being a multi-purpose sex toy. Hyphy is dual-ended, with an independently-controlled motor on each side. The silicone handle can be used for deep, rumbly G-spot stimulation while the other end delivers high-voltage pinpointed vibrations to anywhere (externally) on the body. Hyphy also comes with 3 removable tips to switch up your sensory experience! So essentially, Lovense Hyphy is 5 sex toys in one! Whether you’re into edging and a slower experience during masturbation or partner sex, or you’re looking for a powerful G-spot vibrator with a simple silhouette, Hyphy is nicey! (Sorry, we couldn't help ourselves.) Plus, a Bluetooth connection capability allows you to customize vibration intensities and rhythms - and synch to music. Hyphy’s design is discreet for travel, and it’s also a great introductory sex toy for partners who are in search of a non-intimidating, versatile sex toy that can do a little bit of everything.
Verdict: Is Hyphy worth the hype? Absolutely.
Find full product info on Lovense Hyphy here.
***
As a thank you for being a reader/follower/part of our community, enjoy the following discounts on your purchase today (November 4, 2021) - now until midnight!
SEXTOYDAY10 - $10 off purchases of $60 or more (not valid on subscription boxes)
SEXTOYDAY21 - 10% off all purchases (no minimum, not valid on subscription boxes)
Cheers to celebrating and normalizing sex toys one step, day, month, or year at a time.
Love,
Casey & Jay
The Pleasure Parlor
]]>
The month-long Kinktober celebration is underway, and the opportunity to explore kinky play is ripe! We will be sharing our staff recommendations for the best kinky toys that suit a variety of interests below.
But first, let’s walk through the definition of ‘kink’, for those who are beginners to the niche.
Dictionary.com defines kink as “bizarre or unconventional sexual preferences or behavior.”
If a kink-curious individual came across that sentence, there is a chance that they may abandon curiosity altogether because of one tricky word: bizarre.
The word bizarre (specifically in the context of kink) is often associated with a negative connotation. Why? Further, who or what officially classifies an interest as ‘bizarre’?
It is unfortunate that a word with this type of connotation continues to preface definitions (and ultimately, shape judgments) of kink, fetish or bondage preferences.
Some say that putting pineapple on pizza is bizarre. Does that mean pineapple-topped pizza is kinky? (HERE FOR IT. #sorrynotsorry)
Our point: if it feels good to you physically, mentally and/or emotionally, and it’s consensual, run with it! What feels good, interesting or enticing is neither ‘vanilla’ or ‘kinky’, in our opinion.
Unconventional? Sure, perhaps for those who are strictly into missionary. (Which some may also call ‘bizarre’, but to each their own.)
One more thing before we get to our kinky product recommendations! A Harper’s Bazaar (oh, the irony) article from 2018, Kinky Sex Could Be the Secret to Your Success, quotes Los Angeles-based sex therapist, Jamila Dawson, LMFT:
“A wave of recent research has confirmed this: If it’s something you desire in the first place, kinky sex can benefit you not just in the bedroom, but outside of it as well. “Unconventional” sexual practices and fantasies, such as BDSM, group sex, or role play, have been shown to reduce psychological stress, improve mental health and can help with satisfying and communicative relationships. Kinky people have also been found to have higher self-worth than those who are too afraid or ashamed to pursue their fantasies; all positive effects, which can help optimize your goals, mood and overall well-being even after kinky play ends.”
This is just one of the many benefits of bondage/fetish/kinky play, but we digress.
Without further adieu, here is our Kinktober list of the top 5 best kinky sex toys and accessories for all genders and experience levels.
***
Why: Pain and pleasure - these leather Vampire Gloves strike the perfect balance, depending on your preference. If pinpointed, scratching sensations on your skin make you melt, these are a necessity for your sex toy drawer. Can be used alone for delicious light scratches anywhere externally, or with your partner for a next-level spanking sesh.
Did we purchase this bondage kit for the ridiculously cute hat alone? Yes.
Is this an awesome value for every bondage accessory you might ever need? Also yes.
This combined choker + flogger accessory is a subtle nod to your submissive style that will draw some double-takes from kinksters on the street. Nothing better than functional bondage gear that also makes a sexy addition to casual or sexy attire.
Silicone Quickie Cuffs are extremely flexible and comfortable, and you can slip out of them in a heartbeat, no scissors or knot releasing required. Plus, they can be fully sanitized with antibacterial soap and water (or sex toy cleaner), and they roll up nicely - perfect for (discreet) travel.
This under the bed restraint system contains comfortable handcuffs, ankle cuffs, and tie downs all rolled into one snappy system. Simply place the straps under your bed (no bedposts required), and place your partner exactly where you want them.
***
To celebrate this month, enjoy 15% off your order (subscription boxes excluded) with code KINKTOBER until October 31! Shop the Kinktober Bootique here.
]]>
Big tip: try not to compare your sex life post-baby to your past sex life! That is a quick way to possibly get caught up in disappointment, or feelings of inadequacy. You WILL get your groove back, and while that may look different than it has in the past, you're still a sexy, sensual being.
]]>You’ve carried this little bundle of joy for 9, maybe even 10 months. After hours of pushing and exhaustion your baby is here with all 10 fingers and 10 toes. All of your energy is now directed to this little person. In this moment, the furthest thing from your mind is sex, but it won’t be long before it becomes a topic of discussion with your partner.
There are a lot of things people don’t tell you about having a baby.
Conversation usually leans towards the precious moments, or the lack of sleep! It doesn’t take long to realize your body is not the same body in more ways than you anticipated, and your mind has likely changed as well. The relationship with your partner also takes a shift…it kind of goes on the back burner.
At some point, you feel that yearning in the pit of your stomach….you are ready to have sex again! The only thing is... how do you bring the spark back to your relationship, get back into your own body, and/or feel sexy...especially with that big throw up stain on your shirt? There are a few things you can do to prepare yourself for that moment.
Here are 5 tips on how to bring sex back into your relationship after having a baby:
COMMUNICATION
The biggest thing is to have a conversation with your partner about any apprehension you are having. There are a lot of factors in play now that you have this new baby…neither of you are sleeping, your body is still healing, and your hormones are everywhere. Talking to your partner about sex will help make sure that everyone is on the same page. This includes scheduling sexytime if you have to (it's okay!).
BE KIND TO YOURSELF
You just had a baby…that is a HUGE accomplishment. Your body is still beautiful, it just did a big job! It is easy for us to criticize how our postpartum body looks…stretch marks, saggy belly, leaky boobs, and achy vagina. Take some time to focus on all the great things about your body, and how it has served you (as a mother and otherwise). You provided a safe space for your baby to grow; those boobs provide your baby with much-needed nutrients; and those stretch marks are the greatest badges of honor. I’m pretty sure your partner sees your body as miraculous right now…be kind and love on yourself.
INVEST IN GREAT LUBE
After having a baby, there are many changes going on with your vagina. Hormone changes may mean lack of lubrication for sex. Having sex may already be painful due to giving birth, especially if you were torn or cut, no lubrication can make it worse. Get with your partner and experiment with different lubes. Water-based, silicone-based, etc. Everyone has different preferences, so it is helpful to participate in this activity with your partner. Don’t worry…this is common and does not mean you will never get wet again. And - since date nights out on the town are likely sparse now, doing some online browsing together makes for a perfect night in.
EXPERIMENT WITH OTHER FORMS OF SEX
Vaginal penetration may not be an option for you at this time…that is okay! Communicate this with your partner and discuss other options. Maybe you would prefer to have anal sex instead (the lube will definitely come in handy for this - silicone preferred since it is thicker). Another consideration is oral sex, or mutual masturbation. We tend to forget that sex goes far beyond genital penetration! This is the perfect time to try things you and your partner have only talked about. Create a list of things you'd like to try together, and pick one night a week to spend some time playing.
DON'T FORCE IT IF YOU'RE NOT READY
Only have sex when you are ready! I understand that this part of life is exhausting. You spend all day cuddling, breastfeeding, rocking…your body honestly may feel like it is no longer yours. After spending all day interacting with the baby, you may not want to be touched by your partner. Again…this is totally common, and there are answers. Focus on being intentional when with your partner. Even if you're not having sex, still make time to spend together. This is your co-pilot, and they need attention too. Date nights, movie nights, coffee dates…whatever you decide, tune into your partner. Listen and remind them that even through this change, they still matter to you. Assure them that you understand their desire for sex and discuss how to keep the flame lit (physically and emotionally).
Sex is an important aspect of your relationship, but it is not everything. You are living a new normal with your sweet baby, the family dynamic has changed, and you have changed in some ways that may be beyond your control.
Big tip: try not to compare your sex life post-baby to your past sex life! That is an easy way to trigger disappointment or feelings of inadequacy. You WILL get your groove back, and while that may look different than it has in the past, you're still a sexy, sensual being. Ask your partner to make a list of things they find sexy about you, and read it as often as necessary. It's okay to ask for help when you're just not feeling it!
Embrace the changes, and understand that everything you are feeling is completely normal. As long as there is consistent communication -and effort- between you and your partner about sexual needs, things will continue to be satisfying.
----
Guest blog courtesy Natasha Chentille
And just like Day 3, it falls on the August New Moon, which is in Virgo.
For a brush-up on New Moon Magic, check out Day 3 here.
So far in the series, we've covered orgasmic energy, intention setting, and sensual meditation.
Today we are stepping outside of the bedroom to pick some tools that work for you, to keep your energy in a high state, consistently.
YOUR VIBE IS YOUR WAND
Wand as in energy, not wand as in Hitachi! (...Although owners of the Magic Wand or the LeWand Vibrator know how powerful those beats can be!) The energy you surround yourself with consistently, in addition to taking action, is what sets your manifestations in motion. It isn't just the moment just before orgasm that makes magic; it isn't the exclamation of your desires when you orgasm; although those are two non-negotiable components to making this shit work. Practicing magic is a full-time gig. It is daily work. Constant belief reprogramming. Constant shifting. This occurs on a minute-to-minute basis for me most days.
Vibrational energy is defined as LIFE FORCE - which means it exists in everything! Money is energy, love is energy, God is energy, even a dense wooden desk that appears solid, contains vibrational energy.
Within us, vibrational energy is comprised of physical, mental, spiritual and emotional energies, which come together to create your vibrational energy makeup, and ultimately your reality. The state of your energy, or vibration, determines your outer existence whether you know it or not - because like energy attracts like. In fact, it is the second spiritual law of the universe.
Additionally, emotions have their own 'ranking' - as depicted on the chart below. It doesn't take a professional to know that feelings of fear, anger, and guilt are low vibrational energies, because they feel fucking shitty. I was really surprised to see shame as the lowest-level vibration when I first started this journey. That is SO interesting to me, because it explains the shitty, unshakeable emotional attachments that have existed deep in my core, determining my reactions to different situations and experiences for so, so long.
Spiritual law number 4, the Law of Attraction itself, explains:
"...In order to have the things you desire in life, you have to work out how to vibrate on the same frequency as these things. The more general lesson here is that being positive, proactive and loving attracts more of the same into your life. Meanwhile, pessimism, fear, and lethargy will lead you to generate more negative experiences in all aspects of life.
By working to live more positively even just today, you’re already using the Law of Attraction to create a better existence for yourself."
This Sex Magic series is also designed to equip you with tools to sustain a high vibrational energy every day. Manifestation techniques aren't a one-size-fit-all sorta deal. They are trial and error. Some have success with one, where others combine multiple techniques to see results. There is no right or wrong way to manifest -- the goal is to feel aligned with your practice, be a caretaker of your energetic state, and know when and how to quickly shift from low vibes to high vibes.
Set the intention to DO. THE. WORK BEFORE you find yourself feeling low. Set it right now. Who wants to feel fucking crappy in this life? You deserve MORE than to feel trapped by the things that bring you down. Have a stash of go-to tools on LOCK so that shifting quickly is an effortless practice.
QUICK TOOLS FOR SHIFTING
*Please stand by, chugging water*
RITUALS FOR SHIFTING
The Virgo New Moon is particularly awesome because it really ties into what we just covered. It brings heightened emotions (aw Virgo) and ability to manifest, and the opportunity to:
-Examine areas of your life that need healing
-Complete tasks and get organized
-Implement healthy habits & systems that support all aspects of energetic health
-Map out what you'd like to accomplish in work, health, service to others
Whether you use the intention you set at the beginning of this series, or you choose a new one for the Virgo Moon, create a sigil.
1. Use sage to clear your space
2. Write your intention on a piece of paper, 1 sentence
3. Remove all vowels from the sentence
3. Re-write that sentence, and removing all consonants that appear more than once (honestly however you choose to do this is personal and entirely up to you)
4. Take those remaining letters and arrange them into a symbol however you'd like in a way that resonates with you
5. Burn this image into your mind, use it during your sex magic practice (great when you're with a partner and you don't want to verbalize your intention when you orgasm). Put it in your journal, or on a post-it note on your desk. Get into the feeling of having your manifestation every time you see it. It's a magical reminder that keeps your vibration in the energy of what you want - V. V. IMPORTANT! Keep it in sight all month long, and shift, shift, shift, into those feelings whenever it appears.
Here is my New Moon sigil (I probably fucked up the consonants but whatever):
May the force be with you. <3
]]>LAST DAY OF THE MONTH.
NEW MOON IN LEO.
NATIONAL. ORGASM. DAY!
As I mentioned on Day 1, the concept behind this contest/series happened pretty organically. ...And by that I mean my vibrator died, and I received a download (non-crazy voice in my head) telling me to create a 5-day series about orgasmic manifestation. I didn't plan for it whatsoever, but I followed my intuition to do it anyways, and the power behind everything happening today makes me believe that there are no coincidences. Intuition is like that - a subtle hint that leads you to something serendipitous, and I shit you not, this is what it feels like when you arrive.
This New Moon in Leo, taking place around 11pm EST tonight on Day 3 of the challenge is particularly awesome because of its supercharged energy. This means that the activities, tools, and sexual energy we've been building on thus far are jusssst about as potent as they can possibly fucking be! A New Moon on the last day of the month is even more magical than normal, to me at least, because it is a time to welcome everything you desire in the immediate future and forward - truly wiping the slate clean before you wake up on August 1.
Also: National Orgasm Day, HELLO! I shall say no more.
...Wait! I lied. Mercury Retrograde is officially over! HOT DAMN!
New Moons are all about fresh starts, beginnings, and the birth of CREATION - so whether you are looking to conceive, find a new place to live, or embark on the business you've been wanting to start, now is the time to take that shit seriously and put your intentions to the test! (If you're not looking to conceive, don't forget to take your BC!)
I don't want to complicate any of the rituals in this challenge- so tonight we will keep it simple and focus on the intention you set on Monday before, during, and after your orgasm. The focal point of tonight's ritual is the breathing technique at the beginning of your ritual.
BEFORE:
If you have a bathtub, light some candles (yellow for #BigLeoEnergy if you've got 'em) and take a bath tonight. If you have sage on hand, cleanse all of your spaces- especially those in which you will be practicing. (Windows closed during, open them all afterwards to release.) Get intimate with your intention(s) as you soak.
DURING:
Whether you choose to perform your orgasmic ritual in the bathtub, in bed alone, or on the couch with your partner, I'd like you to focus on a breathing technique to start. It requires no hands, no toys, no touch whatsoever. It is simply breathing in and out - a conscious meditation - until the buildup of energy running through your body is so intense you can't deny it and you feel...electric. THIS. IS. REAL. I never thought I would be able to achieve this type of shit- especially because it requires mindfulness and mental focus (meditation was NOT my jam). Every time you inhale, draw in erotic/sensual energy into the bottom of your feet. Little by little, envision this sexual energy rising a little bit more - up your shins, to your knees, to your thighs and up to your vulva. I can only describe this as a slow-burning tingle that was practically tangible. By the time I got to my waist I was like 'fuck this, I'm touching myself now' - and when I did, it felt like a million sparks of electricity flowing inside of me. When you are ready to explore physical touch, let the feelings of having your manifested reality wash over you. Bask in the pleasure of physical sensations, in conjunction with your manifested intention. *This is where the magic happens* - all the way up until you climax. Again, edging is necessary (bounce back to day 1 if you need a brush-up), taking your time until you declare your desires verbally during orgasm.
AFTER:
Sit down with some paper in your afterglow and list all of the things you are welcoming into your life in August. Goals, income, success, opportunity, new friends, places to visit, etc. Gratitude seems to be a natural effect of a good orgasm, so stay in that head space and express that on paper too.
Bonus Activity:
Create a vision board with your intentions for August (or otherwise). Keep it where you can see it after the challenge - on your wall, your desktop image, your office-- to keep your goals locked in your subconscious throughout the day. Canva.com offers a free template for this.
Besos!
]]>
Day 2: In a nutshell: if your WHOLE BODY doesn't support your vision, YOUR INTENTIONS WILL LACK THE DEPTH AND CONFIDENCE REQUIRED TO MANIFEST IF YOU DO NOT BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN HAVE THEM. There is nothing less sexy than a lack of confidence, IN AND OUTSIDE of the bedroom!
]]>In yesterday's post about the basics of orgasmic manifestation, we broke down the power of sex magic, as well as the steps required to perform an orgasmic manifestation ritual, that will amplify one manifestation of your choosing.
Now that you have identified your manifestation in yesterday's activity, it is only normal to experience limiting beliefs throughout the day (or during orgasm) that try to tell you why you are not deserving. Why you will never have what you want, etc.
Lesson: the lack of confidence behind your beliefs and intentions will throw them into the wind, and there is nothing that kills the euphoria of an orgasm faster than declaring your orgasmic intention during climax, and your ego immediately rushing in to say "HAHA you know that's never gonna happen!" During this practice, you should be feeling the BLISS of having your intention right in front of you, experiencing it with all of your senses.
In a nutshell: if your WHOLE BODY doesn't support your vision, YOUR INTENTIONS WILL LACK THE DEPTH AND CONFIDENCE REQUIRED TO MANIFEST IF YOU DO NOT BELIEVE YOU CAN HAVE WHAT YOU DESIRE.
When I say that, I mean if there is any doubt resonating in your head -- if you can't feel the feeling of HAVING what you desire in your bones- in your PUSSY, how can you expect the Universe to bring it to you? There is nothing less sexy than a lack of confidence, IN AND OUTSIDE of the bedroom!
That shit is EXHAUSTING. And it's okay, because we are eternal works in progress. Truth is, it's exhausting because our minds will always give us information to back up a belief- no matter good or bad -- which is how downward spirals start. This is where replacing your bullshit thoughts with empowering ones should be your new normal, over and over and over again ALL DAMN DAY.
Today's activity is about getting the fuck behind your intentions, one day at a time. Mind gym, bitches!
Obviously, the orgasmic manifestation ritual is still in effect every day throughout this week's challenge, but the actin step for today is today is BUSTING THROUGH LIMITING MENTAL BLOCKS.
((((This activity is ideal prep for tomorrow's New Moon, which is all about self-connection.))))
STEP ONE:
Write allll of your limiting beliefs about yourself in your journal. Why do you feel undeserving of the manifestation you've set (and abundance/success/good things in general)? Where do you feel stuck? What is holding you back from turning your power/magic ALL the way up every day, and showing up as the person you want to be?
STEP TWO:
On another piece of paper, write all of the things that your baddest bitch self knows to be true. This means = OPPOSITE STATEMENTS of the limiting blocks.
You will NOT have to dig deep to access these beliefs. All of it is already there, in your head and your heart- we just don't listen to it the same way we let our ego-driven thoughts dictate our realities.
"I am abundant as fuck because my past does not define MY REALITY."
"Nobody says I can't have ____, that shit is not set in stone. I have the power to attract what I want in work, finances, and life opportunities."
STEP THREE:
Burn that bitch. Burn the limiting blocks and either flush them, or bury them away from where you live. Then, practice replacing every negative thought that dances across your mind throughout the day with A POSITIVE, EMPOWERING ONE that your higher self shouted without hesitation in your head.
TIP:
BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF. Reprogramming the bullshit thoughts that we believe to be true will not happen overnight. And it's okay to feel like you don't quite believe your higher self truths when you start to replace limiting thoughts with empowering ones. Bad days are fucking inevitable, and honestly developing this 'muscle' is a DAILY effort for me. Actually, it's a minute-by-minute effort. (My Leo brain is a stubborn, stubborn bitch.)
Remember to do your orgasmic manifestation ritual -intention clearly stated- before you go to bed!
If you're participating in the challenge, please share your experience in the comments! Good, bad, fugly, whatever. We are here for it.
Besos!
]]>
"....The thing about orgasmic energy is that it is the ACTUAL most powerful force of energy in the Universe. It is the literal catalyst for human reproduction - it is what allows this world to continue to exist. It is the source for eternal creation - and that extends beyond solely creating human life. It is a source of attracting your manifestations as well."
]]>Maybe it was emotional ass Cancer season coming to a close (BYE), maybe it's the arrival of vibrant ass Leo season (my birth month), or the downloads I've been receiving first thing in the morning -- that has me feeling much more connected to my goals, and inspired to create.
Maybe it's waking up the last 3 days and taking time for self-pleasure before getting out of bed. Instead of rushing to climax, I've taken my time, partially because I don't often do that, but also because I decided to intentionally build up my orgasmic energy and release it with a manifestation I've been half-assedly trying to achieve the last couple of months.
Whatever the reason, I decided to commit to this practice every day this week, because why the fuck not? From there I was like, 'let's turn this bitch into a challenge and share it with my lovely social media soulmates!' - so here we are.
Here's how it went down this morning.
Today (well, every day TBH), I applied a few generous drops of Foria Intimacy CBD lube, which is my usual go-to because it's fucking amazing and it makes my vulva feel much more sensitive than usual...in a "wow, my pussy feels like it's made of light, fluffy clouds!' kinda way. And it makes orgasms even more enjoyable because each and every sensation is heightened.
I started with the Womanizer Starlet, which is a no-no when it comes to orgasmic manifestation because it will make you come in like, 30 seconds. (More on why that is a no-no below.) But today when I woke up, I didn't plan on doing a manifestation ritual, actually...it just kind of happened because the Womanizer DIED and I had to reach for another toy. I lost my orgasm, and thought 'alriiiiiiiight, since I'm already behind schedule let's just make it a whole thing'.
At that point I whipped out the O.G. Hitachi Magic Wand, ah, the Hitachi. After years of skill, I can edge myself with this toy without losing my shit right away (the trick is to keep it AWAY FROM THE CLIT obviously).
After I finished up and cleaned my toys, I applied some Pure Instinct pheromone scent to my wrists because it is such an uplifting scent- and I wanted to keep myself in a state of high vibration when I started my day. Fun fact: pheromones aren't JUST sexual attractants. They actually have the ability to help you be more social, happy, and confident. There's a bunch of science shit involved there that I can explain another day!
(PS - You may be familiar with Pure Instinct because the party company Pure Romance sells a shit ton of it. Except -- they rip people off and charge over $20 for this tiny little roller. Fuck that! Again, I will explain that another day! #SMDH)
The thing about orgasmic energy is that it is the ACTUAL most powerful force of energy in the Universe. It is the literal catalyst for human reproduction - it is what allows this world to continue to exist.
It is the source for eternal creation - and that extends beyond solely creating human life. It is a source of attracting your manifestations as well.
With that said, using every ounce of orgasmic energy to declare a manifestation at the time of climax is a way to amplify your desire, because of its unparalleled level of exuberance. It is the release of your orgasm, and your desires without ego -- while experiencing the highest level of vibration known to exist -- which makes this practice so magic.
There are two important components of using sex magic as a way to manifest your desires, so make sure to incorporate them every time:
1: IT'S ALL ABOUT THE BUILD-UP. The longer you explore, touch, relax, and put off your orgasm, the stronger and more potent your energy for manifesting. It is important to put off your orgasm as long as you possibly can- which is the practice of edging (taking your body to the brink of orgasm, STOPPING pre-climax, and starting again). I penned an article on edging for Tickle Kitty that you can read here. As of now I can reach my peak and stop about 5 times before I'm like 'alright I'm GOOOOOD!' -- but the masters of orgasmic manifestation hold out much, much longer. As you build up your orgasm, envision how it FEELS to receive your manifestation. Example: New car. Visualize yourself holding the wheel - what does it feel like? Where are you driving? Example: a pay increase at work. See the specific number in your bank account. Feel the feeling of sitting in your boss' office, being told that you're getting a raise. Feel it in your heart, your head, your gut- feel the freedom of financial stability. Visualize yourself purchasing the big ticket item you've been dreaming about. BE IN YOUR FEELINGS as much as you can during this exercise.
2. After edging yourself as long as you can, the moment before you climax -- be in that feeling and stay there, as the waves of pleasure star to radiate over your body. When you are actually coming, say your manifestation out loud - declare that shit and believe that with your words and this energy, it is on its way to you now.
-You can do this with or without a partner. If you are doing it with a partner, you may want to bring them up to speed beforehand, i.e.: "don't mind me when I shout out 'I'M A FUCKING MILLIONAIRE, BITCH!'" when you come. You may create a sigil, if you prefer to stay quiet when you come - which is a visual representation of your manifestation that you will focus on, instead of declaring it out loud.
-Be as specific as you can with your manifestation. Like, down to the penny, if you are trying to manifest a certain amount of money.
-Time: I prefer to do this in the morning, because orgasming opens up my channels of creativity afterwards, and sometimes my body experiences an extended orgasm throughout the day (it's not awkward, but I'm glad I work from home because I don't have to worry about the smile plastered all over my face). However, you can do it any time of day.
-Get clear on your manifestation. Identify it, write it down. Create a sigil if you plan to do this with a partner.
-ORGASM! (Don't you wish they taught THIS shit in sex-ed classes?!) And of course, do the practice. Edge. Visualize. Declare.
-In the morning, bust out your journal and make a list of 3 things: A. Gratitude (the more you write, the more things you will find that come flying out of your head!); B. Write your manifestation as if it has already happened, and say thank you for it. (Example: "Thank you, Universe, for bringing me a business partner who truly cares about my business, and can invest the time and resources into making it the best it can be."); and C: *IMPORTANT* - List at least ONE thing you can do today that will bring you closer to your manifestation. Look, I wish orgasmic manifestation was all about laying back and shouting your wishes to the Universe when you come. But in reality, ACTION is what ACTIVATES the whole process. So please, be prepared to take at least one action every day this week that will support the specific manifestation you have chosen.
That's it for day one! Keep a lookout for the Day 2 activity coming 'atcha tomorrow, Tuesday 7/30.
Ready for Day 2? Click here!
]]>This book isn't just a metaphysical encyclopedia, it is a photographic work of art. Like, coffee table book style. However, it is spectacular for many other reasons.
Crystal Healing and Sacred Pleasure found me at the perfect time, when I was just far enough into my own crystal journey to really connect with the concepts that Vanessa Cuccia explains. Even down to the June release date...as this month has been an accelerated course in energetic life transformations for me.
Cuccia covers the gamut, including the metaphysical and healing properties of crystals, to the significance of each chakra, to integrating crystals and stones into your self-love/self-pleasure practice.
I selected one of her pleasure exercises as an opportunity to use my recently acquired rose quartz yoni egg for the first time. It had been hanging out at my home for about a week, and I trusted that I would know when to use it for the first time. No expectations of what I would take away from the experience, no attachment to achieving a quick orgasm.
The exercise incorporated breathing and meditation before migrating towards physical contact, something I have never tried before. (I'm not a great meditator, and I am easily distracted when I try.) I committed to envisioning energy and light rising up through my root chakra until it reached my sacral chakra.
(*I interrupt this scheduled message to tell you that I totally understand if you are rolling your eyes right now. This is all new to me, too!)
By the time I had finished the meditation and breathing, my lower chakras were LIT with a tangible electricity that I have never experienced before. Once I did finally make contact using the yoni egg, externally (not even what I had intended when I purchased it), it felt like a trail of itty bitty magnets circulating around the tip of the egg, following wherever I moved it. I was at the peak of clitoral majesty.
I continued to let intuition and pleasure guide me through the exercise, breaking away from the traditional formula that brings me to climax. Every time my hand wanted to revert to the usual motions I use during solo pleasure, it took me out of the experience. It felt like all self-pleasure prior to this experience was superficial. So I closed my eyes, and continued to let the egg move where it wanted to, indulging in different motions and sensations like I was feeling everything for the first time. (Which is something I never did the first time.) I let that energy and deliciousness continue to build and slightly release, because I wanted to test my patience and generate as much as I could before going over the edge.
That entire experience felt like stepping into a completely different dimension of pleasure and connectedness. All of the years of neglect, disconnected sex and self-pleasure were brought to the surface and then released with appreciation and love. As a result, I respect this center of power and pleasure that lives in me in an entirely different way.
One intention behind the Pleasure Parlor was to smash the sex toy stigma imbedded in our culture. *YAY SEX TOYS* has basically been the mantra. However, the idea of turning to my sex toy drawer- even my trusty Womanizer for self-pleasure ever since - has left me completely uninterested. Tapping into this has been that powerful.
Even if the concept of meditation/crystals/orgasmic manifestation are completely new to you. If my skeptic ass can use it, so can anyone. If you are drawn to this book in any way, do yourself a favor and commit, indulging in everything it has to offer.
Savor this book, page by page. Each one is truly a gift.
]]>The word slut is one that has followed femme-identified individuals throughout their lives. I can remember it as early as sixth grade in my science classroom, overhearing boys talking about what a “slut” particular classmate was. This word has been a constant presence in my life, but delving into the word’s origin, and specific criteria for being considered a slut has been largely absent.
When I think of the word slut, I think of a memory I have of my early days in college. I was 18 years old and eating breakfast in the dining hall with a boy I had just started dating (we were sexually active) and some of his friends. The name of a particular girl came up, and he said “that girl is such a slut.” I asked him what he meant when he said that, I wanted to know his logic for labeling her as such. He responded with a defensive tone and shamed me for having the audacity to ask such a ridiculous question. He refused to give me a straightforward answer as to what exactly constituted a “slut”...and I was too smitten to push the subject any further.
When I reflect on that interaction, it is very clear to me that he had never in his life considered what it means to be a slut, he just regarded the word as a normal way to describe (and judge) a woman on her sexual behavior.
Over the years, I have continued to experience similar situations when I hear the word in a derogatory context and have challenged people on their definition. I seem to always be met with the same non-answers that circulated in college. The general opinion seems to believe that a woman is defined a slut based on her number of sexual partners, with no general consensus on what that exact number is. Who and/or what determines the point at which a woman crosses the threshold from modest and respectable?
We (particularly femme-identified individuals) are conditioned to cringe at the word slut; although I have noticed that more ownership is starting to take place, especially for those who take the word with a grain of salt, and use it as a term of endearment.
We grow up feeling the need to be cautious with who and how often we open up sexually in order to avoid the demeaning label. We are never told how many partners are ‘too many’, but grow up with the concept that “good girls” are allowed to enjoy sex just not with too many partners. I don’t expect the use of the word slut will die out any time soon, but I do believe that if we are going to use the word, whether its in the context of a joke or to be a sexist asshole, we should have a broader understanding of what it means and the impact it has on the decisions people make with their bodies.
The Oxford English dictionary has two definitions for the word slut. The derogatory definition is “a woman who has many casual sex partners”. The second definition, under the category Dated, is: “a woman with low standards of cleanliness”.
Upon further research, I have found that the word has quite the complex history, and for hundreds of years has evolved in terms of its definition. Although the meaning itself has been fluid throughout history, it has largely remained a word used to describe women. As early as the 1380s, poet and author Geoffrey Chaucer used the word sluttish to describe a disheveled man in short story anthology, The Canterbury Tales. In 1402 the Middle English word slutte referred to “a dirty, untidy or slovenly woman”. By 1450, the word had evolved to take on more than one meaning. Slut meant a ‘kitchen maid’, a prostitute, harlot, or a woman without morals. In the 18th century the term “slut’s pennies” was used to describe knots of dough in bread. By the 19th century the word was used to refer to a female dog. Slut as means of describing a woman’s sexual behavior as opposed to her hygiene appears to be a modern phenomenon. When you take a moment to consider the drastic fluidity of the word slut over the course its history, its easy to give it much less credibility and power.
I have lived a fortunate life in the sense that in my circle of friends, “slut” is exclusively used in an endearing context. The only time I have had the word used against me by someone I loved was when I broke up with a partner of three years. He wanted to hurt me as much as I hurt him, and thought that attacking my sexual behavior was an effective form of punishment. It seemed that if he couldn't have sex with me anymore, he should do everything in his power to make me feel guilt and shame about my sexuality. Looking back on that time, I wish I had done more to advocate and stand up for myself. I did, however, tell him that there’s no such thing as a "slut" and that it was just a derogatory term used by men to police women’s sex lives. I told him he had no right to consider himself a feminist if he’s going to use the word “slut” in a degrading way. My words seemed to fall on deaf ears, but culturally speaking, isn't that most often the case?
Way back in pre-school we are told “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”. As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to understand what utter bullshit that phrase is. Words have the power to creep under your skin and haunt you in ways nothing else can. Yes, we do have some power over the ways we react to how people treat us verbally, but generally we do not have control over our feelings when words cut like a knife. There is nothing wrong with being hurt by words people use against you. It does not make you weak.
One of my favorite sex podcasts, “Sluts and Scholars” (an example of people who have reclaimed the word in an empowered way) features an episode of a conversation with a working dancer, Caroline Blaike. In this episode, Blaike says she views miscellaneous attempts at slut shaming her to be “hilarious” because they do not impact her at all. She is secure in the choices she makes with her body; no one will ever make her question those choices. We should continue to be resilient in adapting this attitude towards sexuality. If someone uses the word to degrade someone's character, I encourage you to straight up ask them how they define it. I am almost positive that no one will have a straightforward answer.
The concept of a “slut” in the derogatory sense is not real, unless we allow it to be. Using any word to tear down and control anyone’s sex lives hinders our progress as individuals, and as a society. If we desire a sex-positive society, the outlook on words that aim to judge anyone need to be examined, while leaving the choices a man makes with his body unscathed.
"You can't take the word out of the hands of the oppressors, but you can deflate and pervert the meaning they desperately wish to hold on to." -Kristen Sollee, Slutist
]]>“My goal is to enhance relationships and bring sparkle and fun into the bedroom.”
The day we got our very first shipment of Blowpaste!
I discovered Blowpaste randomly on Instagram several months ago, and am so happy to have found it! The brand is brilliant without being gimmicky, and the Owner/Founder Jasmine is a truly wonderful human. This small business is operated by a femme-identified individual, the product is created with intention and love, and it promotes safe sex and good hygiene (!). To say Blowpaste is a perfect fit for The Pleasure Parlor is an understatement. This lube is a head-turning best seller at our pop-up shop, and we love sharing it with our subscription box clients. It is only fitting that we showcase Blowpaste today on March 14, PI Day//Steak & BJ Day AKA #ORGASMEQUALITYDAY. (Make it a thing, y'all!)
Our contributing writer, Alice Rona, caught up with Jasmine and picked her brain on Blowpaste, life, and orgasm equality in the interview below. Enjoy!
-Casey
***
This past week, I had the opportunity to chat with Jasmine T., the badass, self-made businesswoman behind the progressive (and tasty) lubricant Blowpaste. If you aren’t familiar with her creation, Blowpaste is a water-based, gluten free, vegan lubricant that (I kid you not) whitens your teeth! Jasmine is a brilliant sex-positive woman whose business helps facilitate delicious and fulfilling sexual experiences, while whitening your teeth, what more could you ask for? In an industry full of lubricant chocked full of unsafe ingredients, Blowpaste offers a healthy, ethical and effective alternative.
Alice: Thank you so much for joining me! Tell me about yourself! What is your professional background, and what inspired you to create Blowpaste?
Jasmine: I’m a California girl that grew up in Oxnard; born to Filipino immigrant parents. My father was in the Coast Guard (he encouraged me to be brave and was the best dancer I ever knew!) and my mother, who was also half Chinese, was a nurse (she encouraged my curiosity- she let me collect bugs and I also had a microscope growing up). They instilled discipline and hard work ethic, and supported my dreams of ballet. I graduated from UC Irvine with a BA in dance. I’ve had the pleasure of performing around the world, including working with Celine Dion and Elton John. Whether it's musical, ballet, Bollywood film, or a TV spot -- to touring with the circus -- I’ve had amazing opportunities to inspire and uplift audiences in many different ways. I also have my Master’s in Education and Thai massage license from Thailand. I want to help others through health, fitness, and love. I look at Blowpaste as love in a product form; my goal is to enhance relationships and bring sparkle and fun into the bedroom. I had the idea for many years after playing with flavored lubricants. Being someone who cared about my teeth, I decided to create a lubricant that was good for oral hygiene but wasn’t overly sweet; a substance that enhanced flesh. Thus, I invented Blowpaste! The only lube in the world in the world that was good for your teeth to eliminate the post brush after you do the deed so you can fall asleep in your lover’s arms.
A: Outside of business, what are you passionate about?
J: I believe in health, fitness, a balanced life, equality and inclusion. I am constantly working on myself, trying to grow, learn, and change with the times. I believe in love and respect for all genders, backgrounds. I believe in equality and inclusion. I believe taking the time to smell the flowers and opening your heart to possibility.
A: What do you think people need to know about personal lubricants that they might not know?
J: Just like trying on shoes (there are so many kinds for so many events!), you must find the right lube that works for you. What never occurred to me before, is if one suffered from dry skin or going through medications, how that can have a drying effect on your overall body.
A: What was the sex education you got in school like? Were you taught how to find the right lube as a young woman?
J: My sex education was nil. In junior high school, our parents signed a waiver that allowed us to watch old videos that explained intercourse. What I remember was feeling really embarrassed watching an old video. Honestly, I think I daydreamed through most of it. Lube was never a topic of discussion.
A: Blowpaste is water-based, cruelty free, gluten free and vegan. Do most lubes not incorporate these elements? Does that impact the overall effectiveness and safety?
J: There are many successful lubricants that have been out for many years that are not vegan. For example, one brand may profit from the work of honeybees, and another may contain lactoperoxidase, an enzyme that is dairy-derived. I am not here to criticize companies- this is the information that is out there. I created Blowpaste as a cruelty-free option for the world to try, and especially for my vegan lovers.
A: How is Blowpaste celebrating Steak & BJ Day today?
J: We are celebrating at the Laugh Factory! Blowpaste is a proud sponsor of Comedy Pop -- we perform at the Laugh Factory in Hollywood and Long Beach! Additionally, we will be selling our most recent release, the Best BJ Kit, which is a really fun and unique couples kit!
A: What comes in the Best BJ Kit? Who did you collaborate with to create the mini BJ booklet that is included?
J: Our BJ Kit includes the exclusive “How to Be a Blow Pro” guide featuring smutty artwork by Jack Sexto, cock rings by Male Trunk, and of course, a delicious tube of Blowpaste!
A: What does orgasm equality mean to you, and how do you see it evolving in the future?
J: With all of the recent female-driven campaigns showcasing women coming out and speaking up about the past, present, and future, I’m hoping it sparks a ripple effect. Women around the world should feel confident and comfortable about themselves to tell their partner what they need so they can feel satisfied in their love. Lovemaking is so intimate, and communication is so important. I want women to know their self-worth and value. I hope that partners are able to listen and reciprocate this love. In order to give, you must receive. I wish for less shame. I also hope that it helps increase funding for women’s health insurance.
A: What is your advice to other women hustling hard to start a small business?
J: Don’t give up. The first year will be challenging. Have a support team, mentors. Learn as much as you can. If it doesn’t work, try something else. Failure can also be a happy accident. Start building your network. Have a plan.
A: What is your big-picture goal/dream for Blowpaste?
J: To be in major distribution worldwide.
Alice: I experimented with Blowpaste both with a partner and during solo play, and have to say it is awesome! Normally I don’t feel comfortable with edible and/or flavored lubricants, but that changed when I tasted Blowpaste (I tried Orangasmic). It tastes like an orange Tic Tac (!) and has a very light and subtle texture which makes it perfect for oral sex and penetration. Whether you are:
...we all can find inspiration from Jasmine’s perspective on business and life. Thank you so much, Jasmine! You have made a lasting impression on our hearts and in our mouths. Get it, girl!
Follow Blowpaste on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter or visit the website!
]]>[Photo via embrace_metime]
I had planned on writing a full-length review of this product...but mid-climax, I F%CKING BLACKED OUT IN THE BATHTUB. I do not drink wine in the bath; I do not smoke drugs.
It was a straight up, orgasm-induced temporary blackout.
The experience can be accurately described in acid trip-inspired GIFs.
At first, it was like "Well damn, this orgasm is pretty sweet!"
Did I just become one with the Universe?
(That is entirely possible, as I was experimenting with some super hippie shit called orgasmic manifesting...but I'll save that for another day.)
Immediately after, I just laid there dumbfounded.
Actually me:
It blew my mind that a product with such a simplistic design could reinvigorate my perspective on the pleasure products market which, to be honest, had become a little jaded.
End result: "The WaterSlyde is amazing! My vulva is AMAZING."
What I looked like the rest of the evening:
The fact that this is the first product specifically designed for women who prefer to self-pleasure while taking a bath is beyond me. I suppose that is probably because the sex toy industry has been predominantly male-driven for a very, very long time. The WaterSlyde™ is literally and figuratively refreshing.
Maureen Pollack, you are a modern-day Mary Keis, and I love you!
]]>In the spirit of women taking over the world, our female-driven Fempreneur Friday brings the opportunity to showcase women that we have had the pleasure of working and/or partnering with. This week's spotlight goes out to Melisa Mae, the creator of Kitten Lingerie (and more on the horizon). She is #goals because of how tirelessly she worked to build this brand, while holding down full-time 9-5s. She recently made the jump into her side hustle full-time, and for that reason and many more, she is #goals. Get it, girl.
In March '14, LA-based entrepreneur Melisa Mae put her creative expertise and entrepreneurial spirit into action and launched her first website, KittenLingerie.com. Currently, the online boutique offers an extensive selection of lingerie, costumes and hosiery from well-known manufacturers, in addition to bath and body products and select adult toys. Mae’s one-woman e-commerce operation promotes a body-positive approach to self-love at all sizes. Plus sized models are regularly showcased, and an entire section on the website is designated specifically for the “Curvy Kitten”. Mae’s brand message and feminine, vintage aesthetic is geared towards a strong, playful consumer who is “easygoing and sensual with a desire for fun. At the end of the day, all a woman really needs are some pretty panties, pheromone infused body butter, and a good vibe (literally and figuratively)”, according to Mae.
After several years of administrative and bookkeeping experience, Mae decided she was ready for a new challenge, and dove head-first into starting a small business. “I’m passionate and creative, and when something jumps into my head, I go for it 110%.” When the website first launched in 2014, she was maintaining a full-time job, a part-time job, all in addition to attending school. “I was clearly crazy”, she added. It wasn’t until recently that she transitioned into KittenLingerie.com full-time, bringing her passion project and side hustle into full focus.
Mae knows that content is queen in a competitive online market, and is relentless when it comes to social media content in particular. In just under four years, the KittenLingerie Instagram account has acquired nearly 47,000 followers (and counting), each follower achieved organically with zero online advertising. The brand likely would have not seen such exponential growth without Mae’s penchant for consistent content, and the power of social media. “Without it, my mother would be my only customer.”
What was your original vision for KittenLingerie.com?
I wish I could say my intention for Kitten was to be the largest retailer of boudoir products in the universe but the truth is, I really just wanted to see if I could start and maintain a functioning business. Now that she’s been up and running for a while (yes, Kitten is a she), my intent is clearly for world domination.
How have your business goals evolved since Kitten first launched?
Over the past three and a half years, my business goals have evolved substantially. There was and still is an intense learning curve when starting your own business from the ground up with only yourself to rely on. You need to be ready to go with the flow or change on a dime, depending on what the market dictates. This entire ride has been a process of trial and error. I’m constantly learning new things about myself, about business, about The Womanizer (OMG), and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
What are the three most critical factors that you attribute to your existing success?
1) Time and energy. You absolutely need time to focus solely on your business.
2) Be relevant. If you aren’t considering what your customers want or keeping your content updated and fresh, you will be forgotten.
3) Be tenacious. Stick to it. Nobody is going to do it for you.
How do you define the KittenLingerie.com consumer?
The Kitten Lingerie woman is me. She is strong and playful and not afraid of trying new things. She is feisty and meek, traditional and modern, quiet and boisterous. She is anything she wants to be.
Do you monitor your competitors? How do you stay competitive in the lingerie market?
One wouldn’t be in business very long if they didn’t monitor their competitors. In a market that tends to be a bit saturated like lingerie and dildos staying competitive has it’s struggles. You do your best, you try new things, and you don’t give up.
What is the biggest challenge of owning an ecommerce business?
Money and time.
Do you take time for self-care when you are feeling drained? If so, what is your ritual of choice?
Whiskey.
How do you push through your hardest times?
Whiskey.
(#seewhatwedidthere)
What do you wish you knew today when you first started your website?
Not a thing. The learning process is the fun part. The information I’ve learned along the way is invaluable. I have been able to help others and actually enjoy doing so. Had I known everything from the get-go, I doubt I would have had such an awesome ride.
How do you respond to negative comments or feedback?
Anyone in business will tell you negative feedback comes with the package. It’s unavoidable. You want every single customer to walk away thinking you sold them the best garter belt and thigh highs but that doesn’t always happen. When something goes haywire you try to rectify the situation as best you can and move on.
What are 3 tips that you would recommend for making the best use of one's time?
1) Get an intern.
2) Set a schedule.
3) Turn off the TV.
Who is your personal hero?
My father. I was never what one would consider a “Daddy’s Girl” and he never referred to me as princess. My father is and always has been a man of great integrity and respect. He has always believed in me and shown support, regardless of how crazy my ideas are.
What is your biggest piece of advice for female entrepreneurs?
Just do it. There’s no reason not to and a million reasons to go for it.
What 3 tools would you recommend to anyone trying to start their own business?
1) Get an accountant.
2) Learn social media.
3) Get a Costco card. They have the best deals on whiskey.
What do you love about your job?
Everything. Absolutely everything.
What is your big-picture vision for your business?
Mae: To take over the world, of course.
While a woman leading in business is definitely not breaking news, the growing demand for services and products spanning all industries, especially in the adult online marketplace, has continued to create opportunities for female entrepreneurs. In a highly competitive market, it is exciting to watch a woman build a successful small business completely on her own with sheer determination….and a little bit of pheromone-infused elbow grease.
This article was originally written for XBIZ Premiere, which can be found here!
]]>Think of the amplified feeling of gratification that happens the moment you finally achieve a sneeze, after losing it several times beforehand. The first climax after partaking in edging is much like that coveted sneeze, if you can imagine it being relocated to an erogenous zone. Just like a delayed sneeze, the more times you ‘lose’, or delay your orgasm, the more powerful it becomes.
Bringing yourself to the brink of climax is not for everyone; the 60 second orgasm may be your cup of tea, and that is a wonderful thing! Overall, the purpose is to tantalize, not to torment. Successful edging, which requires equal parts patience and self-control, serves a valuable purpose when it comes to harnessing sexual energy.
Benefits:
Challenges:
Tips & techniques:
If you are new to edging, don’t get discouraged! It may take a few weeks or a couple months until you’ve perfected your technique. Like anything worth waiting for, patience is a virtue, young grasshopper.
This article was originally written for TickleKitty.com.
]]>I don't know why the last couple of weeks have been particularly challenging; unhappy subscription box customers, an endless flood of emails that suffer because I cannot find the time of day to sit down and comb through each one. On days like this, I don't know what I am even doing or what it's worth. I am sacrificing every spare minute and dollar that I earn, to keep this business fueled, but I really don't know what I want my future to look like. My own house and a hot butler, sure. But what about the Pleasure Parlor? Sometimes I don't know if I'll ever know.
Anyways, I was sifting through my inbox a few minutes ago, looking for one particular email I really need to respond to. I stumbled upon a message that came in from my website, which I didn't notice before. I thought it was going to be a "product reviewer" who was going to request a free subscription box to feature on their "social media", but it wasn't.
This is what it said:
Hi there,
I follow your page on social media and love it!!!!
Empowerment for me for ladies is so important and so is our sexual energy and empowerment!
I run ladies networking events from my restaurant in Liverpool and wondered if you would be interested in getting involved??? It's a huge glamorous brunch fuelled by champagne so ladies can make fab business relationships, long lasting friendships and have a little party at the same time!
I have messaged you on social media but had no response so thought I would message you on here. Please check out my social media and see if it is something you would interested in. The restaurant is called Verdant, Allerton and the networking society is Sparkle Networking.
Look forward to hearing from you!
I don't know if it was her persistence, sheer enthusiasm, or the fact that she is executin my dream of being a networking #kween (if I weren't doing this), but I was so impressed with her taking the time to reach out, all the way from the UK, to say this to me.
It made all of the 3am nights packing boxes, cranky customers, tears over website formatting, stressing because I couldn't find the time to post an Instagram photo during the day, loss of sleep, overwhelm and frustration...it made it all okay. Reading these words made all of that stress just go away. It's going to be ok.
As I wrote her back, I visualized being at one of her brunches in Liverpool, looking around the restaurant and just feeling super humbled and awestruck that we made this happen. (Thanks, Internet!) That other women are making this happen, all around the globe.
I have been weary as hell lately, trying hard to commit to personal development every single day, and the improvement of this brand, but have felt so defeated. This is exactly what I needed.
See you soon, Sparkle Networking Society.
]]>Painting dildos with a bunch of ladies you don't know is totally weird, right? Wrong!
The night before Thanksgiving kicked off in a beautifully non-traditional way. A few weeks ago, I set a date for a sexual health workshop at The Perlene, not realizing it was the night before Thanksgiving. When it dawned on me, I was nervous about the turnout...even up until I got there. But women started to trickle in: Perlene members, Instagram followers I hadn't met before, and one of my new-ish friends in Portland. I was so excited to share some knowledge on sex toys and communication in relationships, and also paint a peen (!!) during the Arts & Shafts portion of the evening.
The first part of the workshop evolved into a group discussion about exploring bondage, sex club adventures, sexual expression, and women supporting women. I found myself humbled, sitting in the middle of this group, in awe of everyone's openness to connecting with each other.
Topco (I swear by their Climax kegel balls) provided the dildos and let us borrow their unique #PaintYourOwnPeen idea, which was originally featured at Think Tank Gallery in LA last month as part of 'A Lifetime of Dick Pics' show. Topco is one of the largest sex toy makers in the world; maintains one of the only FDA-registered facilities in the adult industry, and is run by a badass team of #bossbabes that I have had the pleasure of working with over many years during this journey.
We gathered around the table for #paintyourownpeen, taking note of the different designs, and how they each represented the painter's soul. For example, mine was pink and glittery because I am the most predictable person on earth, and Tanya's was a very well-done Waldo (who we did find, even though he was disguised as a dildo)!
Many thanks to both Topco and The Perlene for giving us the resources and the space to celebrate creativity and community. I don't know what the big picture for the Pleasure Parlor is (yet), but it feels something like this.
]]>
***
***
More details + RSVP on Facebook here.
Once again, the pop up makes its way to one of the raddest brick and mortar shops in Portland, Fat Fancy. This business is more than a fat-positive plus-sized boutique with a vintage kick - it is a community space that welcomes all sizes and and all genders, each item curated with a ton of TLC. Aside from clothing, independent artists (many of them local to Portland) are showcased with a unique assortment of pins, zines, artwork and accessories including [Instagram handles coming atcha!] @fatgirlflow, @kattbuttons, @misandrydesigns, @deadpastel, and @archivesix (+ so many more). The shop is a body positive Toys-R-Us, where a fattie can be a fattie, because the word fattie isn't dirty here. We are scheming up some exciting things together and could not be more honored and excited to support the #FatFancy vision. 12-6pm, located at 3626 NE Sandy Blvd.
More details + RSVP on Facebook here.
That publication, XBIZ, is the first place I ever worked for in the adult business 10 years ago. It is freaking awesome to watch all of that come full circle, and become a contributor to their pleasure products trade journal, XBIZ Premiere.
Outside of this publication, there are a ton of free self-care rituals that you can incorporate into your daily routine. If you are looking to treat yo' self and splurge a little, check out our recommended essentials.
]]>Portland ladies!
Save the date!
On Friday, November 17, The Pleasure Parlor will be doing a workshop with locally-based Tokeativity, a cannabis-friendly women's group who host monthly socials. EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT A CANNABIS USER, this group is BRILLIANT! I went to one of their gatherings a couple of months ago by myself not knowing what to expect, and ended up at the most whimsical, thoughtful, open-minded get-together I have ever been to. They had a tarot card reader, belly dancer, group meditation, make-your-own moon phases mobile, a pop-up bar with cannabis infused cocktails, and tables set up like a fucking Alice in Wonderland picnic. It blew my mind, and I am not a cannabis user. This gathering is BACK TO THE 90s THEMED (make. your. own. fucking slap bracelets!!!) and I encourage you to join if you want to meet some wonderful new women and seriously enjoy yourself. The Pleasure Parlor will be featured alongside other women-owned businesses, artists, and creative minds including:
For details and tickets (this event will likely sell out!), head this way. Also: Scorpios who are celebrating a birthday will receive $3 off their ticket with promo code 'scorpio'.
We can't wait for this event & hope to see you there!
]]>Who wouldn't want to receive one of these surprise gifts in the mail?!
*UNDER $10*
OINK Chip Clip (It really oinks! But that doesn't stop us from eating all.the.chips.)
Poo-Pourri: Before-You-Go Toilet Spray (GENIUS)
White Sage Smudge Kit (Excercise the demons!)
*OVER $10*